Alyrian News

Tellerium guards put a farmer in jail charging her with growing marijuana. She said she was forced to because her cow had been acting “nervous and stubborn” until she put the cannabis in the feed.

A slave trader was arrested in the Palace of Diocletian for enslaving a woman for eight years. His defense was that the woman had actually been earning the equivalent of ten gold pieces a week during that time and that all she had to have done was ask for it, but she never did.

In Templeton a resident was charged with trying to cash an elderly neighbor’s retirement check, in the equivalent of 150,000 gold pieces. The explanation by the resident was that someone had cast ‘confusion’ on him rendering him unable to engage in logical thinking.

Several people have been fined for botting recently. An immortal was asked if it is permissible, even when the player has an area all to himself, to bot. The immortals answer was no.

In the fishing village of Colyon a championship soccer game was disrupted and canceled after complaints from an animal rights activist that it was disrespectful to squid. In the game, teams were using an inflated ink sac from a dead squid as the ball. “But it’s a dead squid, for mercy sake. I don’t think the squid cares one way or another now,” said the angler.

New Rigel has reported that the pregnancy rate among girls at the Brahn’s School of Music has increased ten percent from last year, despite the fact that the school’s athletic teams are known as the Trojans.

The Captain of the Sigil Guard reported that his house was burglarized in September during the time he was speaking to a Neighborhood Watch group on crime prevention in the suburbs.

A Xaventry resident was arrested last week for his part in a revenge plot. In court he laughed at the family of the victim and told them that “pain is a part of life, get over it.” He said, “There are two kinds of people, predators and prey and I’m dam sure not prey.” He was sentenced to execution for having a player set another resident on fire.

Efford, of Efford’s Apothecary in Lowangen was arrested minutes after allegedly committing his third bank robbery in a day in Lowangen. Efford’s main misjudgment, according to witnesses, was making his getaway all three times in his company cart with “Efford’s Apothecary” stenciled on the side.

Several unknown teenagers from Rune were arrested and convicted for sending Anthrax threats to administration in envelopes that each contained their correct return addresses.

Also from Rune it seems that urinating continues to be a problem, even fatal, as over the years several men have fallen down the steep slope near the Runic Temple in their efforts to relieve themselves. Finding proper toileting has been a major concern for years and even with the addition of toilet facilities to private homes.

Desert Thorne has also reported deaths involving urination but it seems players have wandered into the ravine looking for a place to relieve themselves and have been killed by falling boulders.

Rune Forest reports that exports of ants are down this year due to increased first class player base. This is creating steep prices for chocolate-dipped ants and ant-based sauces and spreads. Also it seems that the Queen’s thorax has fallen out of fashion even though it was considered a good luck charm.

Desert Thorn has petitioned the nearby towns of Lowangen and New Rigel for a resident to create a restaurant as a tourist attraction in the vicinity of Desert Thorne. Some items on the planned menu include the local favorites of scorpion tail, spider legs, vulture under glass, maggot delight, cacti juice, snake steak, and turtle soup. They do admit that something will have to be done about the tsetse flies and centipedes.

In Vospire some believe a well-attended funeral leads to great afterlife but guards have recently stopped the practice of shipping in strumpets from Tellerium to boost attendance.

Xaventry residents still celebrate a moon phase oddity called “hungry ghost” month, during which the gates of the underworld supposedly open and create widespread panic. Many priests seek to stave off the ghosts (who apparently provide lucky numbers) by offering them food and other items.

Two concerned citizens of Templeton hosted a party in an attempt to raise environmental awareness. They celebrated with wine and cheese to encourage the city to clean out the sewers. The citizens hired a team to clean out the sewer as a demonstration for the cities leadership. Unfortunately they had to stop eating and drinking when the stench rose from the cleaning process and lingered in the city for days.

A man was shot in the back with an arrow at the archery range in Tellerium.

An elderly man had wandered into the Rune Graveyard and was being eaten alive by maggots.

A human citizen in Templeton was badly injured when he strapped fireworks to a guard’s helm and then put the helm on to see what would happen. A witness says alcohol was involved in the decision.

Alliance

[1] Rebellion heya'
[1] Rebellion I may have us an invitation to join the Upper Sepharian Pact. Interested?'
Elggs '*on*'
[CLAN] Elggs: 'gonna be tight on roots'
[1] Rebellion it's a one time charge?'
Elggs 'ya, but it will clean out our account'
[1] Rebellion I'll gather the 1000 roots'
Elggs 'i'm interested but we may have to wait a bit'
Elggs 'we will have taxes due soon i think'
Elggs 'maybe next week'
Elggs 'who's all in the alliance?'
[1] Rebellion Mercs of War and Entropy'
Elggs 'what number is entropy'
[1] Rebellion 36'
[1] Rebellion I looked and I dont have friends or enemies tehre'
Elggs 'sounds ok to me, what's the rules of the alliance or don't u know yet?'
Elggs 'also we should post it in clan log and see if anyone has any thoughts'
Elggs 'mostly i'm curious what geeze and daulf have to say on the matter'
[1] Rebellion rules are in help alliance'
Elggs 'don't the rules vary from alliance to alliance?'
[1] Rebellion true.. we'd have to ask 120 I suppose'
[1] Rebellion Basstion or Bresha'
You tell Basstian 'do you have a minute?'
Basstian tells you 'what up'
You tell Basstian '-*Rebellious*- I was wondering about the possibility of Midwinter joining your Alliance'
Basstian tells you 'didnt you have an alt in MoW?'
You tell Basstian '-*Rebellious*- not anymore'
You tell Basstian '-*Rebellious*- o ya.. Phillip'
Basstian tells you 'Phill your clan would be most welcome I would love to run round with you again'
You tell Basstian '-*Rebellious*- what are the rules you have set up?'
You tell Basstian '-*Rebellious*- are there any requirements besides the 1000 roots?'
Basstian tells you 'damn'
Basstian tells you 'clan owners get full securities '
Elggs 'do they have a plan to declare war on anyone?'
You tell Basstian '-*Rebellious*- does Mercs of War have a plan to declare war on anyone?'
Basstian tells you 'no we are going to try to be neutral till attacked'
Basstian tells you 'you know us we quest like hell '
[CLAN] Elggs: 'ask if he knows if there's a maintenance fee?'
Basstian tells you 'it would be your alliance as much as ours I just had the opp to jump on a slot '
You tell Basstian '-*Rebellious*- I had asked about alliance rules.. have you set anything up?'
Basstian tells you 'havent had time right now its just play like we are one big clan '
You tell Basstian '-*Rebellious*- it is just the one time payment for 1000 roots?'
Basstian tells you 'all owners when alliance is built will help decide rules '
Basstian tells you 'If you would like an invite I will have someone do that right now'
You tell Basstian '-*Rebellious*- we have to catch the owner and query him about it'
Basstian tells you 'I assure this ... no new clans will be added unless all alliance owners agree '
You tell Basstian '-*Rebellious*- does any of your crew know daulf?'
Basstian tells you 'not sure?'
[1] Rebellion lol I done asked'
[CLAN] Elggs: 'if there's a clan war big deal, no prob if you don't go into cpk anyway'
[1] Rebellion true true'
[CLAN] Elggs: 'do you get the idea that it will be like a pk clan thing for anyone that u've declared war on/'
[1] Rebellion I'm not sure how it will play out now'
[1] Rebellion I dont know which clans are pk and which arent'
[CLAN] Elggs: 'if not that, then what else would there be?'
You tell Basstian '-*Rebellious*- never mind on that last question.'
You tell Basstian '-*Rebellious*- I'm going to send an email and we will see.'
Basstian tells you 'whats that ?'
You tell Basstian '-*Rebellious*- thanks for your time Basstian'
Basstian tells you 'you let me know the invite will be sent'
[CLAN] Elggs: 'we'll have enough roots when i'm done w/ this run'
[CLAN] Elggs: 'which i'm almost done anyway'
You tell Basstian '-*Rebellious*- ok'
[Mail]<941hp 960sp 710st> ct Basstian tells you 'you let me know the invite will be sent'
Basstian tells you 'or bresha '
Basstian tells you 'or thax '
[1] Rebellion or Bresha or Thax lol'
[CLAN] Elggs: 'nice'
You tell Basstian '-*Rebellious*- ok'
[CLAN] Elggs: 'they both seem pretty active, so it sounds cool'
[1] Rebellion ya Mercs have a thing about being active'
The New Rigel Clan Master tells you 'Thank you for the 9 gemstones, Rebellion!'
[1] Rebellion only 991 to go now'

The Zot

[PKTALK A] Rebellion: 'if ya'll weren't such sh!tasses all the time someone might play the game with you' [34]

[*]<408hp 286sp 705st>
Malfona drifts in from the west.

[*]<408hp 286sp 705st>
Malfona drifts east.

[*]<408hp 286sp 705st>
ZOT! You are struck by a fiery bolt of lightning!
[*]<1hp 1sp 1st>

September Betters

Rebellion, on Sunday September 3, 2006 9:29:54 am, got a better in armor.
Rebellion, on Sunday September 3, 2006 12:01:42 pm, got a better in hook.
Rebellion, on Monday September 4, 2006 10:06:01 am, got a better in kick.
Rebellion, on Monday September 4, 2006 6:19:41 pm, got a better in mace.
Rebellion, on Tuesday September 5, 2006 4:49:24 pm, got a better in hook.
Rebellion, on Friday September 8, 2006 11:10:29 am, got a better in exotic.
Rebellion, on Saturday September 9, 2006 11:48:53 am, got a better in curse.
Rebellion, on Saturday September 9, 2006 4:27:03 pm, got a better in evasion.
Rebellion, on Sunday September 10, 2006 12:44:33 am, got a better in second attack.
Rebellion, on Sunday September 10, 2006 8:59:40 pm, got a better in bash.
Rebellion, on Monday September 11, 2006 5:34:41 pm, got a better in mace.
Rebellion, on Thursday September 14, 2006 8:45:38 am, got a better in whip.
Rebellion, on Friday September 15, 2006 9:18:11 am, got a better in throwing.
Rebellion, on Friday September 15, 2006 11:10:49 am, got a better in cure critical.
Rebellion, on Wednesday September 20, 2006 11:53:50 am, got a better in exotic.
Rebellion, on Wednesday September 20, 2006 6:12:32 pm, got a better in dodge.
Rebellion, on Saturday September 23, 2006 4:31:32 pm, got a better in exotic.
Rebellion, on Tuesday September 26, 2006 2:04:31 pm, got a better in mace.

Got a few more but they were on the other computer. What a slow month.